With Thanksgiving approaching, I can think of countless things to be thankful for. I find it amazing that I was born into this world surrounded by a loving family devoted to serving and loving God, given the most wonderful friends, I live in a beautiful place, go to a great college, I am studying to have a job as a nurse that my heart burns with passion for, and I have been given health and am sustained by the hand of the One who knitt me together in my mother's womb. I have done absolutely nothing to deserve or earn these things...it is completely out of God's amazing grace; for that I am tremendously thankful!
A little update on the health too! I have been on my IV antibiotics for the past 2 and a half weeks or so. I get to finish them this Thursday!!
For some reason, this round of IV meds has been a lot more of a burden on my shoulders than the others. Not for any particular reason though...I don't really understand it.
Originally I was only supposed to be on the IV meds for two weeks, but after the first week my doctor called and decided to put me on one more antibiotic. That day I felt really discouraged, weighed down and weary - agian i'm not really sure why, becuase i normally take 2 different kinds of IV meds anyway. The whole day I was feeling really overwhelmed, but when i went to dinner that night something changed. I was in the caf eating with some of my friends and God allowed two things to happen. I was able to help someone by offering them a ride to the pharmacy, and I ran into a girl who is in one of my classes who was going through some major health difficulties and stopped to talk with her for a short time and offered her some encouragement.
I say these things not to brag about things i did, but really just the opposite reason. When I walked out of the caf that night, something changed. I literally had a renewed peace, joy, and energy. I realized that by taking the focus off of myself and onto those around me in need, my load didn't seem so heavy anymore - in fact it was a joy to carry if it meant that God could use it to show others His love for them.
Sometimes the loads we have to carry seem too heavy, they weigh us down and zap our joy away from us. Sometimes though, I truly beleive that God allows those loads to show those around us that He cares deeply for them and loves them eternally. Picture a weak old woman carrying a huge bag over her shoulder; at first she struggles, but when she directs her face to the Lord, she finds the strength to go on carrying it. As she moves forward, she begins standing more upright like the bag doesn't weigh anything. God is strong in her weakness - that's what gives her the strength to press on. And more than that, what makes it worth it all is to pass by someone else who is having trouble carrying their load and stopping to help them. Sharing with them that the only reason you stand with joy and can carry the load you have without collapsing is becuase God took the weight from it on himself through His Son Jesus. We don't have to bear the wieght. The loads we carry in life don't always go away, but the weight of them can and do, by the precious blood of Christ.
I don't know if that analogy made sense, but I felt i needed to share it. If you are carrying any heavy weight on your shoulders, know that the weight of it wasn't meant for you to carry.
"give all your cares and worries to God, for he cares about you." - 1 Peter 5:7
May you be truly blessed this Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
10th Round of IV Antibiotics - 4th Time Using Port:
I went to the doctor on October 28th for a follow up after my oral antibiotics. My lung function was exactly the same - 45%. This didn't really surprise me because I didn't feel much different after taking them. Come to find out though that they didn't work because I am now resistant to Cipro (the antibiotic I was taking) and Tobramyacin, another one that I take as a breathing treatment. Resistant just means that it no longer kills the bacteria growing in my lungs because the bacteria has developed a "resistance" to it.
My doctor decided to start me on IV antibiotics again. Ever since I had the swine flu this past summer, my lung function has not been the same. I am taking an antibiotic called Meropenem, which I have taken before. I'm hoping and praying that it will restore some of my lung function back. My doctor also wants me to try to do my breathing treatments 3 times a day, along with my vest. I honestly don't know how I'm going to find time to do it that many times with classes and homework to keep up with, but I am certainly going to try. This is one thing that is really overwhelming for me, so if you could pray that I could balance all these things I would so appreciate it.
I lost one more pound which was a bit discouraging since I had been stuffing myself silly for the past two weeks. My doctor also told me that I should make an appointment to see my Endocrinologist to talk to him about getting an insulin pump. I have never seen an insulin pump before, but apparently it works similarly to the pancrease in that it releases insulin each time I eat. It just stays attached to me all day instead of having to give myself insulin shots before every meal. I'm not sure what to think of this. In a way it would be nice so I won't have to carries around my insulin and needles everywhere I go, but its new and its really overwhelming thinking about one more thing i'm going to have to deal with somehow.
I am supposed to go back to the doctor on November 12th to see if I can be done with my IV meds. While going on my IV antibiotics every four months or so gets repetitive and tiresome, each time is different in that God teaches me something new and reveals Himself, and His sweet comfort, peace and rest, to me in new ways each time. For that I am thankful, but it is still hard.
Right now particularly I am feeling very burdened by it all. I feel God gently reminding me that I I am not supposed to carry this on my own - its not mine to carry. He reminds me to trust in Him and depend on Him to carry me through as He has time and time again in the past. How sweet it is to Have a Savior who cares for us and comforts us when we need it most.
I would so appreciate some prayers as I am feeling quite overwhelmed right now. Pray for not only that the IV meds would work and the other things I mentioned in here, but most of all that no matter what God's will is that I could better know Him and His grace through this, that my heart would be teachable that He might teach me new ways to depend on Him. And most of all, pray that no matter what happens God would be glorified through me and my CF. Its all for Him.
Thank you for reading!
My doctor decided to start me on IV antibiotics again. Ever since I had the swine flu this past summer, my lung function has not been the same. I am taking an antibiotic called Meropenem, which I have taken before. I'm hoping and praying that it will restore some of my lung function back. My doctor also wants me to try to do my breathing treatments 3 times a day, along with my vest. I honestly don't know how I'm going to find time to do it that many times with classes and homework to keep up with, but I am certainly going to try. This is one thing that is really overwhelming for me, so if you could pray that I could balance all these things I would so appreciate it.
I lost one more pound which was a bit discouraging since I had been stuffing myself silly for the past two weeks. My doctor also told me that I should make an appointment to see my Endocrinologist to talk to him about getting an insulin pump. I have never seen an insulin pump before, but apparently it works similarly to the pancrease in that it releases insulin each time I eat. It just stays attached to me all day instead of having to give myself insulin shots before every meal. I'm not sure what to think of this. In a way it would be nice so I won't have to carries around my insulin and needles everywhere I go, but its new and its really overwhelming thinking about one more thing i'm going to have to deal with somehow.
I am supposed to go back to the doctor on November 12th to see if I can be done with my IV meds. While going on my IV antibiotics every four months or so gets repetitive and tiresome, each time is different in that God teaches me something new and reveals Himself, and His sweet comfort, peace and rest, to me in new ways each time. For that I am thankful, but it is still hard.
Right now particularly I am feeling very burdened by it all. I feel God gently reminding me that I I am not supposed to carry this on my own - its not mine to carry. He reminds me to trust in Him and depend on Him to carry me through as He has time and time again in the past. How sweet it is to Have a Savior who cares for us and comforts us when we need it most.
I would so appreciate some prayers as I am feeling quite overwhelmed right now. Pray for not only that the IV meds would work and the other things I mentioned in here, but most of all that no matter what God's will is that I could better know Him and His grace through this, that my heart would be teachable that He might teach me new ways to depend on Him. And most of all, pray that no matter what happens God would be glorified through me and my CF. Its all for Him.
Thank you for reading!
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