So I have been back at Biola for a couple weeks now. Things are a lot different this semester, being in the Nursing program now. The first couple days were a lot harder than I had anticipated. Not academically though.
I have always known that Nursing would not be an easy thing, especially with having CF. In fact, in the past I went through a few periods of doubt as to whether or not that was something I should really do. Shouldn't I do something that didn't require so much energy and strenous hard work; something less physically demanding? This way the years I had left to live would be restful and enjoyable. But God set me straight and numerous, numerous, numerous times told me that I was meant to be a nurse. That is the vocation that He had called me to for the glory of His name. Ever since I have known confidently. All of these years though I always just thought about how exciting it would be...I knew it would be hard, but that wasn't real to me yet.
This summer, before starting nursing school I could feel more of the pressure. I would ask myself and God, "What if I get sick and have to go on IVs during school? I would have to miss clinicals...how would that even work?" This anxiety hit over the summer. Still I kept telling myself that I KNOW that God has called me to this, I just have to trust. Sometimes God's plans for us just don't make sense, but if they are His plans, they will work. I just had to trust that even though going into nursing school having CF didn't make any sense it was what I KNOW He has called me to and I need to rest in that.
God is so good and His timing is perfect. I ended up going on IVs the week before classes began, and finished them up the first week of school. I didn't need to miss any classes at all. Praise God! Yet, I still know that I have 3 more years in the program, and surely I will need to be on IVs again before I graduate. I still must trust because He is always faithful and His plans are good.
It was the day before nursing classes would begin here at Biola and by the evening I realized that I felt very heavy. I had something weighing on my soul that I couldn't identify. I knew that it wasn't stress. I feel like at this point in my life, more than ever, I trust in God's plan for me. Why would I feel this way? I came back to my empty dorm room that night and sat on the couch. I prayed, "God, I want to give you this weight, but I don't know how, becuase I don't know what it is from." I wanted to cry but I couldn't becuase I didn't know what it would even be for. Soon after that, my roommate Jamie came back. She noticed that there was something wrong and asked what was going on. I told her how I was feeling. Whiling talking to her, God allowed me to see what the source of the weight was.
Its a bit hard to put into words, but I will try. I felt overwhelmed and terrified. Part of me was thinking, "I honestly don't think I can do this. Can I really get through nursing school with CF? Realistically, can I?" That part of me just wanted to quit and go home, to bed and never leave. Another part of me knew that I was supposed to be there, and was confident that God would get me through. I believe that God needed me to be at a place where I could admit my utter and desperate need for Him, knowing that I need to rely fully on Him every single step of the way, and come out in the end knowing that HE was the one who carried me through. When I realized this, this picture came to my head. It was like I was standing ontop of a hill looking out at the wilderness that I knew that I would have to cross in order to get to where I needed to be. There is no paved path, and it literally looks impossible to get through by myself. The only way I can get through this wilderness is by having a God who is greater than me, and any situation I could find myself faced with in the midst of that wilderness, literally CARRY ME THROUGH it. A God who is merciful and powerful. This is the God of the Bible. The ONE TRUE GOD. The way, the truth and the life. Through which the only way to get to Him is through Jesus Christ. This is my God, my Savior, and my Strength. This is the One who has in the past, sustained me, protected me, and lead me through deserts, wildernesses, and storms; and who will continue to, by His grace, carry me through every other circumstance I will ever face in this life. This is the God I serve. The God looks at you, just as you are, and loves you with an unconditional love.
I know that God needed me to find myself in a place of total desperation, acknowledging my need for Him every step of the way through this nursing program.
I cried and cried, but they were needed tears. I had never felt anything like it. In the midst of my tears I found myself feeling the weight of suffering in this world. Something else I needed to feel. I can't put into words. I have never felt that before in my life. I felt weight, but I also felt this immense hope. That even in the midst of suffering there is a hope that far outweighs it all. The suffering is temporary, this hope that God gives is eternal. This is the message I must bring to those I come into contact with. Whether through words, or my actions alone. I am desperate for them to know. Oh Lord, use me. Give me the strength to do what you have called me to do.
This is a verse that God gave me the summer before I started at Biola. It comes from Isaiah 43. The context is God speaking to Israel about the promise of victory. His promises stand strong:
"But forget all that - it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland."
- Isaiah 43:18-19
Friday, September 3, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
My first time being hospitalized for CF:
I am back at Biola now and getting ready to start classes tomorrow. Things have moved so fast these past few weeks.
On August 12th I had a doctors appointment at USC to see how I was doing after the car accident and before school started back up. I went in that morning and had a PFT (pulomonary function test) done. This is a test where I suck in as much air as possible, as fast as possible and when I can't hold any more air in my lungs I blow it out as fast as possible for as long as possible until I have nothing left. I do this test everytime I go to the doctor. They can tell what my lung capacity is by doing this test.
Anyway, so I did this test on the 12th. My lung function had gone down enough that my doctors said that I needed to be hospitalized asap. Now before you get too excited know that I am new to the the clinic at USC and they like all of their Cystic Fibrosis patients to go into the hospital for treatment for at least a week. I have been used to Loma Linda though, where they always would let me do home IV antibiotics. So when my doctors told me that I would need to be admitted to the hospital I wasn't too surprised, and honestly a bit relieved. I knew that I would need IVs soon and I also knew that I was starting school in a few weeks, and did not want to have to miss any classes or clinicals to go into the hospital for treatments.
They told me that they wanted me to be in the hospital for one week and then I would be able to finish the IVs myself for one more week. I thought, "Ok, I can do this." I came home that day, told my parents, called work and told them I couldn't work that weekend afterall, and packed my bag full of comfy clothes and anything that would keep me from going crazy with bordem.
That next morning my mom and I drove back down to USC University Hospital and I was taken to what would be my room for the next week.
This was my very first time being hospitalized for CF and it was a very strange reality. I have only been hospitalized one other time in my life and it was for the swine flu last summer. During that stay I was delirious for the majority of the time and was glad to be in the hospital with people who could take care of me and give me pain meds. But being in the hospital this time was completely different. I felt healthy for the most part, energetic, and very much alert. I wanted to walk, be outside, and take care of myself.
When I first got settled into my room and said to myself, "This isn't that bad, I can make it through one week, and I will feel so much better afterwards." After being there for a few hours though, my optimistic attitude began to change some. Little things began to bug me. For example I would be used to taking a certain medication each day and I asked for it when I didn't see it with my dinner, but the nurse said that I couldn't have it because the doctor hadn't ordered it for some reason. It wasn't the nurse's fault, but it bugged me. The same thing happened with a breathing treatment, and the way they treated my diabetes. By the end of the first night I felt frusterated, impatient, and honestly a bit prideful. In the hospital I was having done to me everything that I have always done myself in the past. I felt like I could be doing the exact same thing myself, at home, and probably take better care of myself than could be done in the hospital. I was restless and I couldn't stand being there.
The next morning I talked to my mom and one of my sisters about it and told them that I wanted to talk to my doctor and see if I could just do this myself, at home. After getting off of the phone with them, I prayed. I told God what I was feeling. The only thing holding me back from calling the dr at that moment to talk to him was the thought that maybe God wanted me to spend this week in the hospital for a reason. If God wanted me there for His purposes, I knew that I needed to stay, no matter how I felt. The problem was, I didn't know what God wanted. I asked God plain and simple, "What should I do?" There wasn't an immediate answer, but He did give me one that day.
I went on facebook that morning, and I had a message in my inbox waiting for me from one of my close friends. She wrote a good morning message for my first morning in the hospital. It was full of encouragement, and God spoke directly through her to me, addressing many things I had been praying about. This softened my heart and lead me to tears. Somewhere in this moment, I belive that God spoke to me and gave me an answer. I believe He said to me, "Amanda, if you can't get through a week of being here, relying on and trusting in me, even when you can't stand your circumstances, how do you expect to fully relate to and encourage your patients? Trust in me, even when its uncomfortable and inconvenient." After God spoke this there was an immediate change in my heart, that I cannot fully explain. I no longer felt frusterated and impatient, I felt at peace, and I felt joy. I knew that God had purpose in the days that I was going to be there, and I looked forward to what He was going to do. I suddenly felt like talking to people and being sociable (whereas before, I honestly did not).
The night before I came to the hospital, I prayed that God would have His hand on who my nurses and other caregivers were going to be. God heard me. So many of my nurses and respiratory therapists were Christians. In fact, one night I talked with my RT for a good hour about God. So cool. One morning I had another RT who was not a Christian and God gave me just enough time to very briefly share Christ with her. GOD IS SO GOOD! One nurse that I had, graduated from APU and was normally a nurse in the oncology unit (which is what I want to do!), so I got to talk to her about that some!
The main piece of scripture that I clung to while I was there was Philippians 4:6-9,11-13
"Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus...Fix you thoughts on things above....I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."
God is good. He is with me (and you) wherever I go. He made beauty out of a not so terrific situation.
I am back at Biola getting ready to start clinicals, and I have a whole new passion for being with patients. I want to love them and show them the Love of my King. When I am in a hospital, I feel a joy and excitement that I don't have anywhere else. Not out of some sick enjoyment of sickness, but becuase I know that in that setting is where my gifts can be best put to use. I can't wait to start clinicals!!!
God is my strength, in all situations. Even when I don't think that I need His strength to get by, I DO!! He is my hope and my joy. May He be your's as well!!!
On August 12th I had a doctors appointment at USC to see how I was doing after the car accident and before school started back up. I went in that morning and had a PFT (pulomonary function test) done. This is a test where I suck in as much air as possible, as fast as possible and when I can't hold any more air in my lungs I blow it out as fast as possible for as long as possible until I have nothing left. I do this test everytime I go to the doctor. They can tell what my lung capacity is by doing this test.
Anyway, so I did this test on the 12th. My lung function had gone down enough that my doctors said that I needed to be hospitalized asap. Now before you get too excited know that I am new to the the clinic at USC and they like all of their Cystic Fibrosis patients to go into the hospital for treatment for at least a week. I have been used to Loma Linda though, where they always would let me do home IV antibiotics. So when my doctors told me that I would need to be admitted to the hospital I wasn't too surprised, and honestly a bit relieved. I knew that I would need IVs soon and I also knew that I was starting school in a few weeks, and did not want to have to miss any classes or clinicals to go into the hospital for treatments.
They told me that they wanted me to be in the hospital for one week and then I would be able to finish the IVs myself for one more week. I thought, "Ok, I can do this." I came home that day, told my parents, called work and told them I couldn't work that weekend afterall, and packed my bag full of comfy clothes and anything that would keep me from going crazy with bordem.
That next morning my mom and I drove back down to USC University Hospital and I was taken to what would be my room for the next week.
This was my very first time being hospitalized for CF and it was a very strange reality. I have only been hospitalized one other time in my life and it was for the swine flu last summer. During that stay I was delirious for the majority of the time and was glad to be in the hospital with people who could take care of me and give me pain meds. But being in the hospital this time was completely different. I felt healthy for the most part, energetic, and very much alert. I wanted to walk, be outside, and take care of myself.
When I first got settled into my room and said to myself, "This isn't that bad, I can make it through one week, and I will feel so much better afterwards." After being there for a few hours though, my optimistic attitude began to change some. Little things began to bug me. For example I would be used to taking a certain medication each day and I asked for it when I didn't see it with my dinner, but the nurse said that I couldn't have it because the doctor hadn't ordered it for some reason. It wasn't the nurse's fault, but it bugged me. The same thing happened with a breathing treatment, and the way they treated my diabetes. By the end of the first night I felt frusterated, impatient, and honestly a bit prideful. In the hospital I was having done to me everything that I have always done myself in the past. I felt like I could be doing the exact same thing myself, at home, and probably take better care of myself than could be done in the hospital. I was restless and I couldn't stand being there.
The next morning I talked to my mom and one of my sisters about it and told them that I wanted to talk to my doctor and see if I could just do this myself, at home. After getting off of the phone with them, I prayed. I told God what I was feeling. The only thing holding me back from calling the dr at that moment to talk to him was the thought that maybe God wanted me to spend this week in the hospital for a reason. If God wanted me there for His purposes, I knew that I needed to stay, no matter how I felt. The problem was, I didn't know what God wanted. I asked God plain and simple, "What should I do?" There wasn't an immediate answer, but He did give me one that day.
I went on facebook that morning, and I had a message in my inbox waiting for me from one of my close friends. She wrote a good morning message for my first morning in the hospital. It was full of encouragement, and God spoke directly through her to me, addressing many things I had been praying about. This softened my heart and lead me to tears. Somewhere in this moment, I belive that God spoke to me and gave me an answer. I believe He said to me, "Amanda, if you can't get through a week of being here, relying on and trusting in me, even when you can't stand your circumstances, how do you expect to fully relate to and encourage your patients? Trust in me, even when its uncomfortable and inconvenient." After God spoke this there was an immediate change in my heart, that I cannot fully explain. I no longer felt frusterated and impatient, I felt at peace, and I felt joy. I knew that God had purpose in the days that I was going to be there, and I looked forward to what He was going to do. I suddenly felt like talking to people and being sociable (whereas before, I honestly did not).
The night before I came to the hospital, I prayed that God would have His hand on who my nurses and other caregivers were going to be. God heard me. So many of my nurses and respiratory therapists were Christians. In fact, one night I talked with my RT for a good hour about God. So cool. One morning I had another RT who was not a Christian and God gave me just enough time to very briefly share Christ with her. GOD IS SO GOOD! One nurse that I had, graduated from APU and was normally a nurse in the oncology unit (which is what I want to do!), so I got to talk to her about that some!
The main piece of scripture that I clung to while I was there was Philippians 4:6-9,11-13
"Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus...Fix you thoughts on things above....I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."
God is good. He is with me (and you) wherever I go. He made beauty out of a not so terrific situation.
I am back at Biola getting ready to start clinicals, and I have a whole new passion for being with patients. I want to love them and show them the Love of my King. When I am in a hospital, I feel a joy and excitement that I don't have anywhere else. Not out of some sick enjoyment of sickness, but becuase I know that in that setting is where my gifts can be best put to use. I can't wait to start clinicals!!!
God is my strength, in all situations. Even when I don't think that I need His strength to get by, I DO!! He is my hope and my joy. May He be your's as well!!!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Jesus Pulled Us Out From the Rubble
The summer is fast coming to an end, and I am getting ready to start the Nursing program at Biola! Wow, time flys!
God taught me, took me through, and pulled me out of so many things this summer! Each summer He has something new to teach me, and my eyes become open to new aspects of His character, and I find myself more and more in awe of my Savior. Just thinking about it now, my heart overflows with awe, thankfullness, and my eyes fill with tears. The more God teaches me about Himself, the more I become aware of my desperate need for Him in all situations.
I can't start this off any other way than to thank God. Thank you for being my Help, my Sustainer, my Father, my Resting place, my Protector, my Salvation.
"I look up to the mountains - does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!" - Ps. 121:1-2
" Shout with joy to the LORD, all the earth! Worship the LORD with gladness. Come before him, singing with joy. Acknowledge that the LORD is God! He made us, and we are His." Ps. 100:1-3
"I rejoice in your Word like one who discovers a great treasure." - Ps. 119:162
Ok so now to tell about this summer! One of the things that God taught me was how to give a reason and defense for why I believe. I have been working at Bass Outlet for a summer job; somewhere that I know God put me for His purposes. I had/have been praying this summer for oppurtunities to share Christ or at least be an representation of Him to others. God gave me two opportunites to share! I realized that I am not the one who makes opportunities, God does. My part is to see them and be willing to take advantage of them.
The other part of how God taught me about giving a defense was this: One day I went Grass Valley lake to read my Bible and pray. I had just opened my Bible and started reading when this man who was walking his dogs asked, "Good book?" I replied by saying, "Yes, its the Bible, its the best book." He was surprised and interested. It turned out he really didn't know much at all about it. He didn't even know the gospel message. I told him that the Bible was life-changing, and I told him about Jesus and what He had done for him on the cross. He had A LOT of questions though. I could answer most of them, but many I had to investigate scripture and find the answers. I have never been confident in my ability to share my reason for believing. Don't get me wrong, I understand it myself and I am very confident in my beliefs, but I struggle with explaining it to others. God confronted that insecurity in me by using me to witness to this man. I found myself digging through the Bible for answers and I found myself better understanding why I believe, and feeling more confident about explaining it to someone else. This man still doesn't believe, but I know our conversations were not a waste. I gave him a Bible and I pray that one day His eyes will be opened to the most life-giving truth this world could know.
Another amazing thing happened this summer! God answered a huge prayer! I and many people had been praying that my roommate and precious friend, Jamie, would be able to get into the Nursing program this year. When we got our letters, her's said that she was on the waiting list. So we were praying and praying, and just recently she received a call telling her that she got a spot in the program!!!! :) GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!!!
Sometimes your life needs to be shaken in order for you to truly understand your desperate need for Jesus. This summer, my life was shaken.
It was July 17th and my friends and I were out near Big bear at a campground to surprise our friend Alyssa for her 18th birthday. It was going to be a sleep-over camping trip, under the stars. However, myself and two others could not spend the night so we would be driving home that night. After eating hot dogs and smore's by the camp fire, the three of us set out on our way back home before it got too late. It was about 10:30pm when we left. One dear friend sat in the drivers seat, another dear friend in the passengers, and I in the back behind the passengers seat. It would be about an hour drive. The first part of the drive was full of laughter and fun. Eventually though we all quieted down, as we all begin to feel the long day coming to a close. We were about 2 minutes from my house on Grass Valley road when in a split second, our day took a surprise turn. I remember looking at the road and all the sudden seeing us swerve off to the right. Before I knew it we were rolling and with a sudden stop, I found myself upside-down. I heard my dear friends asking if we were all ok. I was fine, my chest just hurt bad from where the seat belt was. My dear friends crawled out of the front windows themselves. I heard my dear friend who was driving start praying for me. I began to pray too. Then I heard voices around the car. Then I heard a man's voice right by me. He had crawled through the back window to get me. He asked if I was ok and what my name was. Then he told me that he was going to unbuckle my seatbelt. He did and I plopped on the roof of the car. Through the darkness I saw my wallet and phone that had fallen out of my purse and grabbed them. I had one flip-flop on. The kind man pulled me out of the car without touching any glass. He and someone else walked me over to the curb where my two friends sat. We were all praising God! My chest hurst really bad. I couldn't take a full breath. I held my dear friend's hand as we prayed and said scripture together. Soon, the ambulance came and took one of my friends and I. My other friend came separately to the hospital. When we arrived they took a CT scan and X-rays. Nothing was broken...on any of us. We were sore and shaken up, but fine. God sustained us. He pulled us fromt he rubble.
The weeks that followed the accident were hard. It took weeks to heal fully, and emotionally, things were strange. The first time I worshiped through music, everything came up to the surface. For the first time I cried and cried from the depths of my soul. It wasn't a sad cry or a pity cry. I just had to cry. I asked God why I was in that car. Not in a angry way, but a curious way. I don't know for sure why I was, but I know I was meant to be.
We all were. And God is good. Those things I know for sure.
Thinking and praying about the accident, God opened my eyes to see it as a beautiful illustration of what Jesus did for us on the cross.
We found ourselves helpless and hurting in the amsidt the rubble, desperate for someone to rescue us. This is where we are without Christ. On the cross, Jesus died in place of us, pulled of from the rubble (sin), brushed us off (cleansed us), and healed us. Jesus is our Savior.
If this accident was meant for nothing more than for us to recognize our desperate need for Christ, it had a beautiful purpose.
Even when we think that we are in control, we aren't. GOD IS.
Healthwise, things are ok. I go to the doctor this week to see how things are going. Since the accident my lungs haven't been great. Part of me wants to go on IV antibiotics now, before school starts, so I won't have to worry about missing school. I am starting clinicals this semester, so missing is not good at all. This is something that has been weighing heavy these past few weeks. Its one of those situations where is doesn't make sense, but I have to trust God. I KNOW that He has called me to be a nurse. And I know He has me in this program, now, for a reason. I just have to trust that even though the future isn't perfectly planned out, and CF and an intense nursing program don't really mesh well, that He has a good plan for me. If you could pray for this I would very much appreciate it.
I think that's it for now! I will continue to keep you updated! God bless you all! May you Rest in His faithful, loving arms!
God taught me, took me through, and pulled me out of so many things this summer! Each summer He has something new to teach me, and my eyes become open to new aspects of His character, and I find myself more and more in awe of my Savior. Just thinking about it now, my heart overflows with awe, thankfullness, and my eyes fill with tears. The more God teaches me about Himself, the more I become aware of my desperate need for Him in all situations.
I can't start this off any other way than to thank God. Thank you for being my Help, my Sustainer, my Father, my Resting place, my Protector, my Salvation.
"I look up to the mountains - does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!" - Ps. 121:1-2
" Shout with joy to the LORD, all the earth! Worship the LORD with gladness. Come before him, singing with joy. Acknowledge that the LORD is God! He made us, and we are His." Ps. 100:1-3
"I rejoice in your Word like one who discovers a great treasure." - Ps. 119:162
Ok so now to tell about this summer! One of the things that God taught me was how to give a reason and defense for why I believe. I have been working at Bass Outlet for a summer job; somewhere that I know God put me for His purposes. I had/have been praying this summer for oppurtunities to share Christ or at least be an representation of Him to others. God gave me two opportunites to share! I realized that I am not the one who makes opportunities, God does. My part is to see them and be willing to take advantage of them.
The other part of how God taught me about giving a defense was this: One day I went Grass Valley lake to read my Bible and pray. I had just opened my Bible and started reading when this man who was walking his dogs asked, "Good book?" I replied by saying, "Yes, its the Bible, its the best book." He was surprised and interested. It turned out he really didn't know much at all about it. He didn't even know the gospel message. I told him that the Bible was life-changing, and I told him about Jesus and what He had done for him on the cross. He had A LOT of questions though. I could answer most of them, but many I had to investigate scripture and find the answers. I have never been confident in my ability to share my reason for believing. Don't get me wrong, I understand it myself and I am very confident in my beliefs, but I struggle with explaining it to others. God confronted that insecurity in me by using me to witness to this man. I found myself digging through the Bible for answers and I found myself better understanding why I believe, and feeling more confident about explaining it to someone else. This man still doesn't believe, but I know our conversations were not a waste. I gave him a Bible and I pray that one day His eyes will be opened to the most life-giving truth this world could know.
Another amazing thing happened this summer! God answered a huge prayer! I and many people had been praying that my roommate and precious friend, Jamie, would be able to get into the Nursing program this year. When we got our letters, her's said that she was on the waiting list. So we were praying and praying, and just recently she received a call telling her that she got a spot in the program!!!! :) GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!!!
Sometimes your life needs to be shaken in order for you to truly understand your desperate need for Jesus. This summer, my life was shaken.
It was July 17th and my friends and I were out near Big bear at a campground to surprise our friend Alyssa for her 18th birthday. It was going to be a sleep-over camping trip, under the stars. However, myself and two others could not spend the night so we would be driving home that night. After eating hot dogs and smore's by the camp fire, the three of us set out on our way back home before it got too late. It was about 10:30pm when we left. One dear friend sat in the drivers seat, another dear friend in the passengers, and I in the back behind the passengers seat. It would be about an hour drive. The first part of the drive was full of laughter and fun. Eventually though we all quieted down, as we all begin to feel the long day coming to a close. We were about 2 minutes from my house on Grass Valley road when in a split second, our day took a surprise turn. I remember looking at the road and all the sudden seeing us swerve off to the right. Before I knew it we were rolling and with a sudden stop, I found myself upside-down. I heard my dear friends asking if we were all ok. I was fine, my chest just hurt bad from where the seat belt was. My dear friends crawled out of the front windows themselves. I heard my dear friend who was driving start praying for me. I began to pray too. Then I heard voices around the car. Then I heard a man's voice right by me. He had crawled through the back window to get me. He asked if I was ok and what my name was. Then he told me that he was going to unbuckle my seatbelt. He did and I plopped on the roof of the car. Through the darkness I saw my wallet and phone that had fallen out of my purse and grabbed them. I had one flip-flop on. The kind man pulled me out of the car without touching any glass. He and someone else walked me over to the curb where my two friends sat. We were all praising God! My chest hurst really bad. I couldn't take a full breath. I held my dear friend's hand as we prayed and said scripture together. Soon, the ambulance came and took one of my friends and I. My other friend came separately to the hospital. When we arrived they took a CT scan and X-rays. Nothing was broken...on any of us. We were sore and shaken up, but fine. God sustained us. He pulled us fromt he rubble.
The weeks that followed the accident were hard. It took weeks to heal fully, and emotionally, things were strange. The first time I worshiped through music, everything came up to the surface. For the first time I cried and cried from the depths of my soul. It wasn't a sad cry or a pity cry. I just had to cry. I asked God why I was in that car. Not in a angry way, but a curious way. I don't know for sure why I was, but I know I was meant to be.
We all were. And God is good. Those things I know for sure.
Thinking and praying about the accident, God opened my eyes to see it as a beautiful illustration of what Jesus did for us on the cross.
We found ourselves helpless and hurting in the amsidt the rubble, desperate for someone to rescue us. This is where we are without Christ. On the cross, Jesus died in place of us, pulled of from the rubble (sin), brushed us off (cleansed us), and healed us. Jesus is our Savior.
If this accident was meant for nothing more than for us to recognize our desperate need for Christ, it had a beautiful purpose.
Even when we think that we are in control, we aren't. GOD IS.
Healthwise, things are ok. I go to the doctor this week to see how things are going. Since the accident my lungs haven't been great. Part of me wants to go on IV antibiotics now, before school starts, so I won't have to worry about missing school. I am starting clinicals this semester, so missing is not good at all. This is something that has been weighing heavy these past few weeks. Its one of those situations where is doesn't make sense, but I have to trust God. I KNOW that He has called me to be a nurse. And I know He has me in this program, now, for a reason. I just have to trust that even though the future isn't perfectly planned out, and CF and an intense nursing program don't really mesh well, that He has a good plan for me. If you could pray for this I would very much appreciate it.
I think that's it for now! I will continue to keep you updated! God bless you all! May you Rest in His faithful, loving arms!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Summertime 2010
It has been a while since I last posted an update. There is so much to share about! :)
This past semester was a really great one to say the least! Why might you ask? God is always SO faithful, even when I am not.
Before I get to the health part, let me explain some things that God has been doing in my heart first! It may be lengthy, but if you have the time please read. God did powerful things in my life and I want to share them.
This past Christmas break I prayed something that really wasn't in my own strength. I prayed that God would give me wisdom in my prayers. So often I had been feeling that I really didn't even know how to pray. It has been an absolutely amazing experience these past few months seeing how God has answered that prayer above and beyond! The first way that I saw God answer my prayer was through my Theology I class. Toward the beginning of the class we went over some of the attributes of God. Things I had heard before; Things like....He is self-sufficient, Soveriegn, eternal, all-powerful, all-knowing, omnipresent, loving, gracious merciful...ect. I found that as my knowlegde of God expanded, so too did the way that I viewed Him, and my prayer life changed. Approaching God in prayer with the knowlegde of who He is is so powerful. I found myself praying more frequently and, it was just different, in a very good way. Next, God taught me about praying with boldness. One of my roommates whom I love dearly, had been praying every night in the prayer chapel we have on campus with her boyfriend. She often shared with me about how they had been praying boldly and had seen God answered their prayers. It convicted me and encouraged me to pray with boldness, not with passivity, as I commonly would. In addition to these things, God used a sermon my pastor spoke to open my eyes to the idea of faith and persistence in prayer. I realized that my prayers didn't have enough of these two things. Paricularly persistence. I have always struggled with spending daily time with God (extended time, not just little prayers throughout the day), so persistence would be a challenged for me. I told this to God and asked for His help. I know my prayer life will never be perfect, I will never be perfect, but I will continue to seek God in prayer for as long as I am alive.
Another big thing that God did in my life was in regards to Cystic Fibrosis. I don't think I would ordinarily be comfortable sharing this at the beginning of the semester, but I think God has changed my heart, and I really want to share this now. I don't know what you believe, but I believe that the God of the Bible is a healer. I don't believe in "kingdom now" theology; the belief where everyone is supposed to be healed, and if not there is something wrong with them. I believe that some people are not meant to be healed, because God intends to use the sickness/aliment for His glory. But I do believe that God heals today according to His divinely perfect plan for our lives, and above all His glory. I have, for a long time, struggled with the idea of healing in my own life. There was a stage where I thought I had "work" to the place where I was "good enough" to be healed (a total lie). A until recently I was in the place of honestly not wanting to be healed. I have been in places in between. But I think the underlying feeling was just not wanting to be healed. Why? Fear, the unknown ( I have had CF my whole life), and my identity. If it were to be taken away, who would I be? Would I have to same experiences with God? He has used it so powerfully, what would my testimony be without it? These were all thoughts I had been thinking.
This semester, God opened up my heart and showed me something. After one church service (about healing), my college pastor was asking me what I thought of it. I began telling him what I was thinking regarding healing in my own life. He asked if I wanted to get together with Him and his wife and talk about it. I gratefully accepted. Anyway, talking to them was a tremendous blessing! This is what God spoke to me: "Don't limit me with a disease" - I had been. Also the idea of identity. I thought in my head, "no, I know CF isn't my identity. I am daughter of God," but in my heart I couldn't see how it wasn't part of my identity because I haven't ever known myself without it. That night I realized though that I had been giving CF the credit for God given gifts...ect. If people told me "you are encouraging" I always associated it with CF. Gifts that I know are not of me at all, that I know are God-given, I attributed to having CF. It even surprised me when, this past semester, people who didn't know I had CF who encourage me with words I had normally given credit to CF. When I realized that God made me me with all my gifts and abilities APART FROM CF, I was overcome with how much He must love me. Attributing my gifts to CF was in a way a prideful outlet - it was something of me. Now that I see clearly that it is not CF, but straight and purely from my God, I am even more humbled. I better understand my identity in Christ. On the issue of healing I am in a spot where I don't not desire to be healed, but I also know that as long as I have CF, I will glorfy God through it. And if I am, one day, healed I will glorify God through that as well!
Ok health!
Over this past semester I was feeling pretty good all throughout. The only glitch was at the end of April I was tryign to flush my port and I couldn't. Normally once you put the needle in, you need to have blood draw back. That assures you that it is in the right spot and clear. I tried it over and over, readjusting and readjusting. It wouldn't pull back blood - always resistance. I thought, "ok, I will try it again in a couple of days, and if I still can't then I will call the doctor." I tried it again in a couple of days and the same thing happened...no blood draw back. I called the dr. and left a message. I received a call back the next day and they said to come in the following day and they will try to flush it, and if they can't (if there is a clot clogging it up) I would have to come back the next week and have it de-clogged somehow. That day before the appointment was really overwhelming. I would tell the whole story, but I have already said so much here. In brief though, God gave me joy and reminded me of His faithfullness. He was with me, He is always with me (AND YOU!). The port did flush the next day at the dr, thank God! :)
Ok, last thing, I promise! A current health update. I am home for the summer now, which has been nice but hard too. I have officially become a flatlander. The oxygen shortage up here in the mountains has set in for the first time. I have felt the symptoms of low O2 levels, but I have an oxygen tank now which is helping. Besides that, I have been feeling a bit more goopy and blah than normal. I have my next dr. appt on July 7th, so we will see what happens.
Thank you so much for reading. I know it was long, but I hope God used it somehow in your life. I hope you know that He loves you beyond what you or anyone else is capable of knowing.
This past semester was a really great one to say the least! Why might you ask? God is always SO faithful, even when I am not.
Before I get to the health part, let me explain some things that God has been doing in my heart first! It may be lengthy, but if you have the time please read. God did powerful things in my life and I want to share them.
This past Christmas break I prayed something that really wasn't in my own strength. I prayed that God would give me wisdom in my prayers. So often I had been feeling that I really didn't even know how to pray. It has been an absolutely amazing experience these past few months seeing how God has answered that prayer above and beyond! The first way that I saw God answer my prayer was through my Theology I class. Toward the beginning of the class we went over some of the attributes of God. Things I had heard before; Things like....He is self-sufficient, Soveriegn, eternal, all-powerful, all-knowing, omnipresent, loving, gracious merciful...ect. I found that as my knowlegde of God expanded, so too did the way that I viewed Him, and my prayer life changed. Approaching God in prayer with the knowlegde of who He is is so powerful. I found myself praying more frequently and, it was just different, in a very good way. Next, God taught me about praying with boldness. One of my roommates whom I love dearly, had been praying every night in the prayer chapel we have on campus with her boyfriend. She often shared with me about how they had been praying boldly and had seen God answered their prayers. It convicted me and encouraged me to pray with boldness, not with passivity, as I commonly would. In addition to these things, God used a sermon my pastor spoke to open my eyes to the idea of faith and persistence in prayer. I realized that my prayers didn't have enough of these two things. Paricularly persistence. I have always struggled with spending daily time with God (extended time, not just little prayers throughout the day), so persistence would be a challenged for me. I told this to God and asked for His help. I know my prayer life will never be perfect, I will never be perfect, but I will continue to seek God in prayer for as long as I am alive.
Another big thing that God did in my life was in regards to Cystic Fibrosis. I don't think I would ordinarily be comfortable sharing this at the beginning of the semester, but I think God has changed my heart, and I really want to share this now. I don't know what you believe, but I believe that the God of the Bible is a healer. I don't believe in "kingdom now" theology; the belief where everyone is supposed to be healed, and if not there is something wrong with them. I believe that some people are not meant to be healed, because God intends to use the sickness/aliment for His glory. But I do believe that God heals today according to His divinely perfect plan for our lives, and above all His glory. I have, for a long time, struggled with the idea of healing in my own life. There was a stage where I thought I had "work" to the place where I was "good enough" to be healed (a total lie). A until recently I was in the place of honestly not wanting to be healed. I have been in places in between. But I think the underlying feeling was just not wanting to be healed. Why? Fear, the unknown ( I have had CF my whole life), and my identity. If it were to be taken away, who would I be? Would I have to same experiences with God? He has used it so powerfully, what would my testimony be without it? These were all thoughts I had been thinking.
This semester, God opened up my heart and showed me something. After one church service (about healing), my college pastor was asking me what I thought of it. I began telling him what I was thinking regarding healing in my own life. He asked if I wanted to get together with Him and his wife and talk about it. I gratefully accepted. Anyway, talking to them was a tremendous blessing! This is what God spoke to me: "Don't limit me with a disease" - I had been. Also the idea of identity. I thought in my head, "no, I know CF isn't my identity. I am daughter of God," but in my heart I couldn't see how it wasn't part of my identity because I haven't ever known myself without it. That night I realized though that I had been giving CF the credit for God given gifts...ect. If people told me "you are encouraging" I always associated it with CF. Gifts that I know are not of me at all, that I know are God-given, I attributed to having CF. It even surprised me when, this past semester, people who didn't know I had CF who encourage me with words I had normally given credit to CF. When I realized that God made me me with all my gifts and abilities APART FROM CF, I was overcome with how much He must love me. Attributing my gifts to CF was in a way a prideful outlet - it was something of me. Now that I see clearly that it is not CF, but straight and purely from my God, I am even more humbled. I better understand my identity in Christ. On the issue of healing I am in a spot where I don't not desire to be healed, but I also know that as long as I have CF, I will glorfy God through it. And if I am, one day, healed I will glorify God through that as well!
Ok health!
Over this past semester I was feeling pretty good all throughout. The only glitch was at the end of April I was tryign to flush my port and I couldn't. Normally once you put the needle in, you need to have blood draw back. That assures you that it is in the right spot and clear. I tried it over and over, readjusting and readjusting. It wouldn't pull back blood - always resistance. I thought, "ok, I will try it again in a couple of days, and if I still can't then I will call the doctor." I tried it again in a couple of days and the same thing happened...no blood draw back. I called the dr. and left a message. I received a call back the next day and they said to come in the following day and they will try to flush it, and if they can't (if there is a clot clogging it up) I would have to come back the next week and have it de-clogged somehow. That day before the appointment was really overwhelming. I would tell the whole story, but I have already said so much here. In brief though, God gave me joy and reminded me of His faithfullness. He was with me, He is always with me (AND YOU!). The port did flush the next day at the dr, thank God! :)
Ok, last thing, I promise! A current health update. I am home for the summer now, which has been nice but hard too. I have officially become a flatlander. The oxygen shortage up here in the mountains has set in for the first time. I have felt the symptoms of low O2 levels, but I have an oxygen tank now which is helping. Besides that, I have been feeling a bit more goopy and blah than normal. I have my next dr. appt on July 7th, so we will see what happens.
Thank you so much for reading. I know it was long, but I hope God used it somehow in your life. I hope you know that He loves you beyond what you or anyone else is capable of knowing.
Friday, April 9, 2010
My God sustains me
God is so good in all situations. This past semester has been a wonderful one. I love my classes, and God has been teaching me so many things. He continues to show me the fullness of His love and His forgiveness each day.
Before I give the full update on my health, I want to share a story. I had a cold a couple of weeks ago. It seems that whenever I get a cold these days, it always comes with a persistent, irritating cough. This cold was no different. The cough I get is different than a normal cough in that my breathing treatments do nothing to help it. It is an irritation deep in my bronchiole tubes, and a tightening that feels like someone is squeezing my airway. It was a Monday night and I did my nightly breathing treatments as usual. After having this cough for a few days and nights, I went to bed hoping to get some sleep. This night was the worst though. After being in bed for an hour with no sleep at all becuase I couldn't stop coughing, I decided to do another breathing treatment in hopes that it might provide some relief. Before I began the treatment, I texted one of my roommates, Jamie who was out at the prayer chapel we have on campus. I texted her to tell her I wouldn't be going to chapel in the morning afterall, and also if she could pray for me becuase I couldn't get to sleep and couldn't stop coughing. She said she would. I did my breathing and went to bed. I went to sleep pretty quick after finishing my breathing. In the morning I woke up and realized that I had slept the whole night through (which I hadn't been able to do for a while). I felt rested and I had energy. Then as I lay in bed I took a breath...a deep breath. I was amazed because the tight, irritated feeling was completely gone! I thanked God as I laid there in bed. Then, I got up and went to Jamie's bed and I asked her what she had prayed the night before. She told me many things, but within what she said was that my breathing treatment would actually work, that I would be able to sleep well, and that the tightness in my lungs would go away. God healed me of my cold AND (after going to the dr. this week) healed me from the damage it would have left on my lungs! :) Praise God!
Ok, now for the current health update! A week or so before my cold I coughed up a tiny little bit of blood, but a smaller amount than I have ever coughed up in the past. I haven't coughed up anymore since then though. Then I had a cold, God healed me from it! Needless to say I was anxious to go to the doctor and see how things were going! I had my most recent appointment Wednesday April 7th. My lung function stayed exactly the same as it was at my last visit - 55%. God sustained me! :) I lost a couple pounds, but I think its because of the cold...it took my appetite away. But its spring break now, and I have been stuffing myself quite well! :) I also found out that I am going to have to take insulin before every meal now, instead of just once a day. My doctor said that my blood sugar is still a bit high, and they want it to be under better control. Just call me missy pin cushion. :) But it really shouldn't be too bad. Yep...that's pretty much it.
Oh, for those of you who read the blog I posted before this one, I mentioned that my body box test results said that I had obstructive lung disease. I asked the doctor about it and he said that that is just a part of CF. So its nothing to worry about.
Ok, I think that's it for now! Thank you for reading!
Oh, Oh, I almost forgot to mention...I found out that I got into Biola's Nursing Program!! :D
May you find God's grace and peace in whatever situation you find yourself in right now!
Before I give the full update on my health, I want to share a story. I had a cold a couple of weeks ago. It seems that whenever I get a cold these days, it always comes with a persistent, irritating cough. This cold was no different. The cough I get is different than a normal cough in that my breathing treatments do nothing to help it. It is an irritation deep in my bronchiole tubes, and a tightening that feels like someone is squeezing my airway. It was a Monday night and I did my nightly breathing treatments as usual. After having this cough for a few days and nights, I went to bed hoping to get some sleep. This night was the worst though. After being in bed for an hour with no sleep at all becuase I couldn't stop coughing, I decided to do another breathing treatment in hopes that it might provide some relief. Before I began the treatment, I texted one of my roommates, Jamie who was out at the prayer chapel we have on campus. I texted her to tell her I wouldn't be going to chapel in the morning afterall, and also if she could pray for me becuase I couldn't get to sleep and couldn't stop coughing. She said she would. I did my breathing and went to bed. I went to sleep pretty quick after finishing my breathing. In the morning I woke up and realized that I had slept the whole night through (which I hadn't been able to do for a while). I felt rested and I had energy. Then as I lay in bed I took a breath...a deep breath. I was amazed because the tight, irritated feeling was completely gone! I thanked God as I laid there in bed. Then, I got up and went to Jamie's bed and I asked her what she had prayed the night before. She told me many things, but within what she said was that my breathing treatment would actually work, that I would be able to sleep well, and that the tightness in my lungs would go away. God healed me of my cold AND (after going to the dr. this week) healed me from the damage it would have left on my lungs! :) Praise God!
Ok, now for the current health update! A week or so before my cold I coughed up a tiny little bit of blood, but a smaller amount than I have ever coughed up in the past. I haven't coughed up anymore since then though. Then I had a cold, God healed me from it! Needless to say I was anxious to go to the doctor and see how things were going! I had my most recent appointment Wednesday April 7th. My lung function stayed exactly the same as it was at my last visit - 55%. God sustained me! :) I lost a couple pounds, but I think its because of the cold...it took my appetite away. But its spring break now, and I have been stuffing myself quite well! :) I also found out that I am going to have to take insulin before every meal now, instead of just once a day. My doctor said that my blood sugar is still a bit high, and they want it to be under better control. Just call me missy pin cushion. :) But it really shouldn't be too bad. Yep...that's pretty much it.
Oh, for those of you who read the blog I posted before this one, I mentioned that my body box test results said that I had obstructive lung disease. I asked the doctor about it and he said that that is just a part of CF. So its nothing to worry about.
Ok, I think that's it for now! Thank you for reading!
Oh, Oh, I almost forgot to mention...I found out that I got into Biola's Nursing Program!! :D
May you find God's grace and peace in whatever situation you find yourself in right now!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Springtime updates:
Its been a while since I last wrote, so I am going to update you readers on what has been happening! :)
First, I want to remind not only you readers, but also myself, that this blog is meant to be God-focused, and not a blog where I talk about myself the whole time. Of course I will be talking about what is going on in my life, but my prayer is that it would be something that would take our focus from ourselves and back onto the Life-giving face of God. I don't want any glory in this! I admit that at times, my motives are more self-centered than God- centered, but that's riduculous when I think about it. How could I possibly take credit for all that God has done in my life? Its not only silly, its impossible! How could I bring a peace into my life that surpasses understanding? - impossible. How could I give myself strength when I don't have enough strength to go on? - impossible....ect. You get the picture. On the cross, Christ took all of our sin upon His shoulders so that we might live, and live abundantly! There is NOTHING we have done to get any of the credit!!
With all that said, I will now give you an update on what the past few months have entailed!...
Christmas break was so wonderful. The main event was that my oldest sister, Alyson, got married to my now brother-in-law, John Matthews! It was definitely one of the happiest days of my life!
Right before coming back to Biola at the end of January, I had my first doctor's appointment at the Adult Cystic Fibrosis clinic at USC Medical Center. I am transferring clinics now because the one I have been going to at Loma Linda was a pediatic clinc, and because I have been an adult for a couple years now, they decided that it was time to send me on to an adult clinic.
My first visit there was very interesting. The procedure there is much different than at the pediatric clinic. When I first got there, the receptionist at the desk gave me a biohazard bag that had gloves, a mask, and a pen it in. The pen was mine to use and keep, and the purpose for this was so that no CF germs would be shared from patient to patient. I had to wear the gloves and the mask for the whole visit. The procedure makes sense, but it was a bit uncomfortable and overwhelming at the same time. (* Just a side note: In case you aren't familiar with CF, people who have CF are not supposed to be around other people who have CF because you can give each other different bacterias, and potentially make someone more sick than before - hence the need for the gloves and masks).
Everyone was very nice in the clinic. The team there seems to take things more seriously, which I like. My lung function is at 56% right now (* another side note: Strange story...this appt. was on a Wednesday. The Monday before this Wed. I had my last appt. at Loma Linda and my lung function (FEV1) was 49%, so for it to be almost 10% higher 2 days later was strange to me. I asked them if it could be the different machines, but the doctors said it shouldn't make that much of a difference. So I accepted the 56% gladly.) So anyway, the first appointment there went pretty well. I go back February 24th for my next visit!
Another piece of information that I found out was this: I had a breathing test done a few months back, one where I sit in what is called a "body box" and they take a detailed ananlysis of my breathing and the condition of my lungs. I finally found out the results to this just last week actually I am not really sure what to think of them yet. This is what the results said: I have air trapping, airway resistance is increased, airway conductance is decreased, and that this all means that I have Obstuctive Lung Disease. I want to talk to my doctor about this, becuase I don't know whether this is something that is associated with CF and is considered "normal," or is it is something that I should be concerned about. Either way, God is in control, and He is my shelter, my strength, and my sustainer.
Life here at Biola is going well. I love all my classes this semester! I am taking Physiology (Lecture, Pre-lab, and Lab), Theology I, Philosophy, First Aid/CPR, and Weight-lifting for a PE. Yes, that's right, I said weight lifting! I'm not trying to be a body builder, I just want strong bones! :)
This semester is particularly exciting becuase it is my last semester of pre-nursing. I am in the process of applying to the program right now! I have already filled out and turned in my written application, and this week, on Thursday Feb. 18th, I have my interview with the nursing department!! (So if you remember, I would love prayer for that! As well as prayer for one of my roommates, Jamie. She is appyling to the program with me! - Thank you!)
Another exciting thing is that I have recently become a leader in a new ministry we have at Biola now called Soul Care Ministry. This is a ministry that I am confident that God placed me in and I am really excited about! Because the ministry is so new, we are still working on the practical implications of how we are going to go about acting out the vision that God has given the ministry. (*The vision is to be a group who interceeding for and comes alongside the students on campus who are suffering or in need of any kind. More than this though, we pray that is would be more than a ministry, but something that would spark the desire to be people who love God and love people as God commanded us in scripture) If you can, please pray that the leaders would be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's guiding and to have wisdom in our choices. Also that God would continue to grow the ministry for His glory.
I have to get going to class now, but thank you so much for reading and for praying!
First, I want to remind not only you readers, but also myself, that this blog is meant to be God-focused, and not a blog where I talk about myself the whole time. Of course I will be talking about what is going on in my life, but my prayer is that it would be something that would take our focus from ourselves and back onto the Life-giving face of God. I don't want any glory in this! I admit that at times, my motives are more self-centered than God- centered, but that's riduculous when I think about it. How could I possibly take credit for all that God has done in my life? Its not only silly, its impossible! How could I bring a peace into my life that surpasses understanding? - impossible. How could I give myself strength when I don't have enough strength to go on? - impossible....ect. You get the picture. On the cross, Christ took all of our sin upon His shoulders so that we might live, and live abundantly! There is NOTHING we have done to get any of the credit!!
With all that said, I will now give you an update on what the past few months have entailed!...
Christmas break was so wonderful. The main event was that my oldest sister, Alyson, got married to my now brother-in-law, John Matthews! It was definitely one of the happiest days of my life!
Right before coming back to Biola at the end of January, I had my first doctor's appointment at the Adult Cystic Fibrosis clinic at USC Medical Center. I am transferring clinics now because the one I have been going to at Loma Linda was a pediatic clinc, and because I have been an adult for a couple years now, they decided that it was time to send me on to an adult clinic.
My first visit there was very interesting. The procedure there is much different than at the pediatric clinic. When I first got there, the receptionist at the desk gave me a biohazard bag that had gloves, a mask, and a pen it in. The pen was mine to use and keep, and the purpose for this was so that no CF germs would be shared from patient to patient. I had to wear the gloves and the mask for the whole visit. The procedure makes sense, but it was a bit uncomfortable and overwhelming at the same time. (* Just a side note: In case you aren't familiar with CF, people who have CF are not supposed to be around other people who have CF because you can give each other different bacterias, and potentially make someone more sick than before - hence the need for the gloves and masks).
Everyone was very nice in the clinic. The team there seems to take things more seriously, which I like. My lung function is at 56% right now (* another side note: Strange story...this appt. was on a Wednesday. The Monday before this Wed. I had my last appt. at Loma Linda and my lung function (FEV1) was 49%, so for it to be almost 10% higher 2 days later was strange to me. I asked them if it could be the different machines, but the doctors said it shouldn't make that much of a difference. So I accepted the 56% gladly.) So anyway, the first appointment there went pretty well. I go back February 24th for my next visit!
Another piece of information that I found out was this: I had a breathing test done a few months back, one where I sit in what is called a "body box" and they take a detailed ananlysis of my breathing and the condition of my lungs. I finally found out the results to this just last week actually I am not really sure what to think of them yet. This is what the results said: I have air trapping, airway resistance is increased, airway conductance is decreased, and that this all means that I have Obstuctive Lung Disease. I want to talk to my doctor about this, becuase I don't know whether this is something that is associated with CF and is considered "normal," or is it is something that I should be concerned about. Either way, God is in control, and He is my shelter, my strength, and my sustainer.
Life here at Biola is going well. I love all my classes this semester! I am taking Physiology (Lecture, Pre-lab, and Lab), Theology I, Philosophy, First Aid/CPR, and Weight-lifting for a PE. Yes, that's right, I said weight lifting! I'm not trying to be a body builder, I just want strong bones! :)
This semester is particularly exciting becuase it is my last semester of pre-nursing. I am in the process of applying to the program right now! I have already filled out and turned in my written application, and this week, on Thursday Feb. 18th, I have my interview with the nursing department!! (So if you remember, I would love prayer for that! As well as prayer for one of my roommates, Jamie. She is appyling to the program with me! - Thank you!)
Another exciting thing is that I have recently become a leader in a new ministry we have at Biola now called Soul Care Ministry. This is a ministry that I am confident that God placed me in and I am really excited about! Because the ministry is so new, we are still working on the practical implications of how we are going to go about acting out the vision that God has given the ministry. (*The vision is to be a group who interceeding for and comes alongside the students on campus who are suffering or in need of any kind. More than this though, we pray that is would be more than a ministry, but something that would spark the desire to be people who love God and love people as God commanded us in scripture) If you can, please pray that the leaders would be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's guiding and to have wisdom in our choices. Also that God would continue to grow the ministry for His glory.
I have to get going to class now, but thank you so much for reading and for praying!
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